how is it going

It's been few days, I haven't write for the blog. Today I opened the laptop and noticed my previous blog. Nowadays, I am being very callous. I am trying  to be open as much as possible. Today I tried to go out for a date. But I did't find anyone attractive. Those who was on my list they are just  busy. As i always been busy with my work. I am not a workaholic since a lot of time. I am hoping to come back as I am very busy with my work and I don't have time for unusual things. I don't wanna act like an inhuman being. But I want to do something for real. I wanna pursue a real career.  I am trying to learn basic things of programming. I don't want much success. Just wanna make sure that I can provide my family whatever is important. I can take independent decision for myself. I wish I could be a great man for always. But that's not I am. So, I am trying to do whatever I can.

 Life is going on. So many things happened. Last year 2020, was another struggle. But this year I lost my own little brother. He was full of life to me. It wasn't to overcome. He suffered for about six months. All this six months. I was running from hospital to hospital. My days were spend visiting hospital, seeing my lovely brother, his innocent smile, his sorrows, dispensary , looking for money and so on.  I am trying to build myself again. I am trying doing the most I can do for my family. Actually, I am the eldest of my parents. So I always need to make sure they are happy. I don't hurt anyone.  Though I have a lover who is special. But now I feel all love is colorless without my brother. He is my valentine. I know he is not here. But I can always feel he was there with me. He used to help me in everything whatever I use to ask for him. I am very thankful to God for giving me such a brother. He is my philosopher of life right now. When he was alive I always used to te...